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Sherry's
Story
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14th January; 2000
Deidre,
Thank you so much for caring
enough to reach out.
At 50 years old, I was diagnosed in October
1998 with malignant pleural mesothelioma. I've been on both a
spiritual journey and a traditional one to find help for myself.
Until your site though I didn't find anything written from the
heart; rather, everything has been clinical. I didn't cry for over a year but your site helped me let it out.
I'm scared but not terrified and try to live each moment to the
fullest. Your husband was a lucky man to have someone so filled with
love. My husband is wonderful but it's harder for him than me
sometimes. Currently I am in the pain and suffering part of my disease. It
seems that I can't even spend a few hours without focusing on my
health and panicking. Thank you for helping me get back in touch
with my heart. If you are ever in upstate New York, I would love to
meet you. Bless you, you're a saint. Sherry.
----------------------------
18th January; 2000 Thank you for your kind letter. I don't
know when I was first exposed to asbestos, but I think that I was in
my early twenties. My main symptom was difficulty breathing. My
doctor wasted no time in telling me that he recognized what I had.
He was draining the fluid and as soon as he saw the colour he told
me to go home and put my affairs in order. He said that he usually
didn't give such advice but that there was only one possible
diagnosis.
My heart dropped. All of the doctors that I saw (and they were
the best that I could find) unaminously told me that there was no
hope. I had chemotherapy. They opened me up to remove my lung but
said that I was too far gone and sent me home to die. Well, that
was 14 months ago and somehow I'm doing all right. I've been
receiving alternative medicine (homeopathy, etc.) and something
seems to be working because many of my tumors have shrunk.
-------------------------- I'm sorry that you don't expect to travel
outside of New Zealand and I don't know if there's any compensation available to you, but
here in the States the asbestos industry has to pay everyone who
comes down with mesothelioma. Not that it comes close to
compensating for your husband's life but perhaps there's something
like that there. If you need help finding out about this, I can ask
a lawyer here. He's a specialist in mesothelioma cases only and he
might know if there's someone like him over there. Lots of luck
to you and please feel free to ask me anything that you want. Sherry
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22nd January; 2000. Deidre,thanks for your offer to write
a story about my experience. It is something that I've been thinking
about. The trouble is, I get too wordy and it would become too long,
but I am interested in doing something like that. Thanks for your
site address again. How funny to hear about hot weather. We have snow and
ice and the TV and radio advise people to stay indoors and for those
who must go out, to be sure to carry extra blankets and jackets in
case of car failure. Talk to you soon. Love, Sherry
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13th February; 2000, Dearest, kindest new friend, Thank you
so much for the letter about Cancell. I haven't heard of it but I
promise to be an expert by Monday. That's the most exciting thing
I've heard since being diagnosed.
I work with a man, Jim(------). He's not a doctor, but rather, he
runs one blood test on you to check the balance of your immune
system. After determining the ratio of your T cells and others, he
provides a nutritionally balanced set of supplements and custom
diet. He sends test strips with which to check your progress. There
are no drugs involved! Rather he keeps your immune system boosted so
that your own body can do the fighting. It is not easy. Some of his
requirements are very strict, but though I live 250 miles away from
him, he has helped many people I know.
-------------------------
My friend Debbie had
lymphoma in 1984 and was told that nothing could be done. She's been
fine for over 15 years, and credits Jim with a lot of it. I went
to our local health food store and met a woman who had breast
cancer. She said that she had been treated by him for more than ten
years and has been cancer free for most of this time. He's not
discovered a cure; rather, he has developed a way for people to
co-exist and fight the disease. He has declined to have TV specials
done about his work because he's uncomfortable with the attention,
but he's quite well known anyway. Please feel free to send this
(and any other email) I send to anyone who might be helped. Yours is
certainly the best site that I have found and I would be proud to be
included in any small way. Thank you and God bless
you, Sherry.
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17th February; 2000, Hi there, Sorry it took so long to get
back to you but I was waiting to hear from Jim. He said that he
would rather not have his number posted on the internet because he
does everything by referrals and the people who send them to him,
know who he can help and who he can't. You can certainly post
the rest of the letter if it's not too late. Hope you are well.
Your letters cheer me up enormously. Sherry.
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4th March; 2000.Hi, Deidre, I'm sorry that I haven't gotten back
to you but I've mostly been in New York City. Just got back this
past weekend and have been catching up on all that I've
missed. The last report that I got from my meso oncologist is
that the tumors have grown a bit but Jim (the immunologist) thinks
that it's scar tissue, which I do seem to manufacture in large
quantities. In any event, all is well. Jim has me taking eight
different supplements as well as an immune system tea and something
is working because I feel much better than I had. I even bought
ice skates while I was in New York and I hope to use them a
lot. I've been speaking with Dalinda. She seems quite frightened
and I wish that I could help her. Doctors in the States seem
committed to scaring us with death proclamations when they don't
know anything at all. I would have been dead at least three times if
they were right about everything! How are you doing? I haven't
gotten on to your site recently because every time I get on the net,
I get kicked off. Seems I live in a somewhat rural area with
insufficient phone service. We're getting a high speed line this
month, so that should remedy it. But it takes four or five calls just
to get my mail! I'm going to run. Take care and keep doing your
good work. You can't imagine how much you have done for my
spirits. Sherry
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4th March; 2000 Hi, Deidre, it's Sherry again. I've just
finished reading a book called "Co-Existing with Cancer or You
Thought Living with Your In-Laws Was Difficult" by Jack D. Ruda. The
back cover of his book reads partially as follows: "I was told by a
number of doctors that I would never live long enough to see any
grandchildren. Because of a rare form of cancer, mesothelioma, I was
given a short life expectancy."
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He was diagnosed in 1991! I spoke to him today and he is in good
health!!! I have given him your website address He said that he
goes around the country lecturing and he published his phone number
in the book so I assume that he wants to hear from and talk to
people about this. I just saw the web site with my name in it and
I must say that I write better than I thought. Thank you and I
hope that someone can feel a little better after hearing about
me. I hope to hear from you soon. Your notes mean so much to
me. Sherry
--------------------- 5th March; 2000. Hi, Deidre, I will gladly send you Jack's
book, don't worry about the cost. I already own it. I will ask him
about putting his story on the web, but I'm sure he will say yes. I
forget when he's leaving on holiday but I will check and if he's
still here I'll contact him. Ice skating is wonderful, I could do
it every day. I'm sure my ice skating is nothing like what you see
on TV as I'm still struggling to stay up. I took my first lesson
yesterday from a woman who was once the Olympic gold medal world
champion from Switzerland. The nicest thing she said to me was that
I haven't developed any bad habits yet and that she can help me. It
was such fun! Next week I plan to go to New York City and skate with
my friend's five year old daughter. Not bad.
I know this will sound strange, but a lot of good has come from
my being diagnosed with mesothelioma. It taught me to stop and enjoy
each moment to the fullest. I met some wonderful people and I
found your internet site, which is by far the most useful thing on
the internet about the disease. Here in America if you search the
net for information about mesothelioma, you find mostly lawyers and
a couple of pages about different medical studies. Yours is the only
one written by a human and yours is certainly the only one offering
compassion. I don't cry often but your site helped me to let it
all out, and I felt so much better for it.
-----------------
There's a woman, I think her name is Margie Levine, and she's past
her ten year mark. She went for both the traditional and alternative
treatments, and isn't sure what worked. She has also written a book,
but I don't have it any more (I gave it away to someone who needed
it). I'll be glad to get you her email or phone number if you
wish. That's it for here. Keep smiling and being a source of hope
and love. You're much needed. Love, Sherry
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25th April; 2000 Thank you for the prayer and thought. I
wanted to send it back to you but the mail program won't let me
forward that message for some reason. How are you doing, my
friend? I'm well, I think. I've finished my court case where I found
out that I am one of the only "living meso plaintiffs" as the court
refers to me. It was hard meeting the other one, who is much sicker
than I am right now. I think about you often. I've tried calling
Jack Ruda but the number has been busy each time. Please let me
know how everyone is doing. I've looked at your site a few times, but
haven't seen anything new about Jim. I think he called Jim though.
I hope to hear from you. God bless. Sherry Have
you heard from Jim or June?
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Hi, Deidre, Whenever I get your mail, it's always dated one
day ahead. Today is the 25th and your mail is dated the 26th and it
starts my imagination going. Wouldn't it be great if you really
lived in the future and you could tell me what to expect.
Yesterday is the one year anniversary of the last time the
doctors told me that I had just a few weeks to live. They opened me
up one year ago to remove my lung and closed me without doing the
procedure. I was too far gone, they said.
It's important for us all to realize that when a doctor gives a
prognosis like that, he is just being a fortune teller, and not even
a good fortune teller. They cannot predict our outcomes any more
than they can predict the stock market. When they say "three
months," (or whatever number), they are basing it on past
probabilities, not on fact. There's no such thing as medical
certainty, at least not in this disease. The last time I saw my
oncologist (four months ago), he told me that it would be a matter
of weeks before I couldn't breathe independently. I went to my
regular doctor two weeks ago and he told me that my oxygenation
level was better than expected even for a healthy person my age.
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I've been studying the mind/body connection and am convinced that
one of the reasons that I'm doing as well as I am is because I can
imagine and contain my disease. When I began this, I thought it was
rather silly, but the more I read, the more I become convinced that
attitude is an important part of the wellness/disease
process. I've read several books that have helped me and I
learned to meditate and visualize the cancer. I really believe that
these are helpful and I'd be glad to give you the names of the books
if you think that would help anyone. There are also books by cancer
survivors that generally give coping strategies that help. The
thing that helps me most, I think, is having loving friends and
family to share my fears with. I would love for you to publish this
on your website but if you don't, please do stress to everyone that
sharing your pain and fear eases your burden. It works for me. I
also read that there's a study about the effects of talc pleurodesis
(which I had). That's the surgery where they "cement" your lung to
stop it from repeatedly filling with fluid. It seems that a lot of
people who undergo this procedure do better than expected. It seems
to be able to arrest the disease in some of us. I don't remember
where I read it, but I know that I found it through a web search by
typing mesothelioma AND pleurodesis.
I check my web mail every few days in the hope of hearing from
you and I'm so glad when I do. Try not to be too discouraged and if
there is anything I can do or offer any hope to anyone, please let
me know.
---------------------------- 30th April; 2000, Deidre, When I was in
my 40s, I noticed that I had a little trouble getting that last
breath. Only it was more when I was relaxed than at any other
time. I asked the doctor about it and at the time it was nothing to
worry about.
"Kitchen Table Wisdom" by Remen is a book of short stories,
mostly about cancer patients learning how to accept their illness.
She wrote a follow-up book "Tuesdays with Morrie" It is very popular here. Mitch Albom (I
think that's how you spell it) writes of his teacher's last days and
it's very moving. It helped me to accept my own mortality and not be
so scared. Of course there's Jack Ruda's book which deals with
our disease.
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I don't know if I mentioned this but if I did, please don't
repost it, although you can if I didn't tell you. They're looking
into a surgical procedure called talc pleurodesis as a way to put
mesothelioma on hold. There's a study going on here that I'd be very
interested to see the results of. I had that operation. It stops
fluid from accumulating, which is apparently how the disease
progresses. Mine was a year and a half ago. It's a piece of cake
compared to the other things they offer. Love, Sherry.
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1st May; 2000. Hi, my friend, I've been thinking about you a
lot and hoping that you are okay. They say that we don't look at our
anger about death until we begin the process of healing so I hope
that means that you are on the path to peace. You can certainly
give my address to anyone you want, for any reason you choose. I
trust your judgment completely. Do you know that yours is the only
site that's not written by doctors or lawyers, which to me makes it
the only one without an agenda? It looks like money wouldn't stop
me from visiting you. My lawyer got me the second largest settlement
ever from one of the companies. Of course I don't have the money yet
but I do have the promise. And of course I'd rather have my health
but at least I get to live the rest of my lif e in a way I never
dreamed possible. It's been over a year and a half since I was
diagnosed, can you believe it? I can't.
----------------------
For now, I'm enjoying every
moment. My life has become holy and I treasure it. I even love doing
the things I used to hate (like washing the dishes after dinner)
because I'm so happy that I can do them. On a heavier note, if I
get upset, the first thing that happens is I feel it in my
breathing. This may or may not be because of the mesothelioma, I
don't know. But don't jump to conclusions, it could be anything.
Thank you for your concern but my house is never empty. Some
friends will be staying here (sort of a vacation for them) and
they'll be taking care of our dogs and cat. Woodstock is sort of a
famous community here in the States. My house is set into the
mountains and you can't see any other house or even hear cars go by.
It's a piece of heaven and my friends look forward to staying
here. Anyway, take care and God bless. Sherry
--------------------------
2nd May;2000, Deidre, I think of us as friends sharing our
experiences. I wish that I was qualified in some way to counsel
people but I never even finished college. Jack Ruda is on the
lecture circuit here in the States. He goes around the country
helping people with cancer. He's what we call an inspirational
speaker. I had looked at your entire site when I first found it
but since chemo my memory's not as good as it used to be and I guess
I forgot that you're a few years older than me. I
stopped going for the tests because I couldn't bear the wait and
they had nothing to give me anyway. It was as if the test was the
disease. Once I realized that they were only guessing most things
anyway, it seemed pointless to get the scans. I'm going to go on
my treadmill now. My breathing is a little down generally, going up
stairs and all, and the treadmill seems to bring my endurance
up. Talk to you soon, I hope. Sherry
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13th July, 2000; Hi Deidre Sorry I haven't got back to you
but I've been real busy. My husband was ill but he's alright
now. It was a real scare for a while.
I got a good report from the doctor. Didn't get an MRI but my
oxygen intake level is 97% on my bad lung and 98% on the good one
There hasn't been any fluid for a long time. I'm going to write
you a longer letter, but I have to run. Take care. Love Sherry.
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1st September; 2000 I looked at Jack's site and all I can say
is, "Go, Jack!" Isn't he inspiring? As for me, I've gotten a bad
CAT scan and have to re-evaluate what to do. I have six new masses,
all large, and the ones I already had show some growth. I'm
coming up on my two year mark though, and like Jack, feel pretty
good. I'm still very hopeful. This Sunday morning, my closest
friends are coming for a prayer circle, something I have never had
before. I'll keep in touch with you about that. Have you ever
heard from Jim or June? Keep going with your good work. You
can't imagine how much it benefits someone like me to read it.
You are an angel. I may look into Jack's radiology, I'm not
sure. I'll let you know what I do. Sherry
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8th September; 2000.Hi Deidre, Well, I started
chemotherapy again yesterday. I have a lot of confidence in my
doctor and he said that I reacted wonderfully to it the last time.
Here in America he's called the "Grandaddy of Mesothelioma" by other
doctors. He's a kindly older man (about 70) and he knows everything
traditional and alternative that's out there. I'll let you know how
it goes. In the meanwhile, all is well at home. I'm optimistic
that a short treatment of chemo will help again. I don't know if I
told you, but my last report showed significant growth in fact, I
had seven new masses and all my old ones had doubled or more in
size. Keep in touch, I'll email you soon. I'm glad Jack has his
site up, Sherry.
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9th October; 2000; Hi, Deidre, Well, my chemo regimen is two
weeks on, two weeks off, so that means that I have two free weeks a
month. They haven't taken any pictures yet, so I don't know how I'm
doing. I'm pretty unsymptomatic still, as long as I don't try to go
skiing or hiking or anything in a high altitude. So what's the
weather like in December? I will have a CT scan done in November and
I hope that I have something to celebrate! As for Dalinda, I hope
that her balance problem is just a side effect of one of her
alternative treatments. Have you heard from Jim or June? Also,
anything new from Jack Ruda? I'm going to go check your updated
website now. Write soon. Love,Sherry
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1th October; 2000; Hi Deidre, I had gone to see my daughter in Utah,
where the altitude is much higher than where I lived. I was okay
when I was standing still but if I tried to climb even two or three
steps, I had to rest for a long time and wait for my breath to come
back. I figured that by the time I got home, it would fix
itself. Instead, it got worse. I would walk a few steps and feel
as if I wasn't getting enough air. I would have to rest just going
from my bed to my bathroom (just a few feet of walking). When I
took the train to work, I had to allow 15 minutes just to get up the
steps (including resting). I didn't tell anybody.
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Finally, I went to a doctor who said I probably had bronchitis or
pleurisy or something. He gave me antibiotics. They didn't work, of
course. Then the chest x-ray. The technician said that I had an
awful lot of scar tissue on my lung and asked me what kind of
surgery I had had. (The answer was NONE.) Back to the doctor who
told me that they would have to drain my lung. They removed ten or
twelve liters that first time and the doctor who I had only met that
day, said, "Listen, I'm going to do you a favor. There's only one
thing this can be. It's very serious. By the time they confirm your
diagnosis, there's a good chance you won't be around. Go home, put
your affairs in order and if there's anything you want to do, do it
now because in a few weeks you're not going to be able to do
anything.
-------------------------------
"Dumb Greek bastard," I thought to myself. Well, they sent
the fluid for biopsy and it came back meso, which I had never heard
of. I didn't believe it. I was still having trouble breathing though
and they drained another eight to ten liters. This time I insisted
that they check me for everything on earth. All the tests came back
meso. Several surgeries later, even I couldn't deny it. I began
to have sore throats, pain in my shoulder and rib cage, difficulty
catching my breath, etc. IT TURNED OUT TO BE ANXIETY. The only
symptom I had really was difficulty breathing. All the rest was
in my mind. It was fear doing a number on me. I suppose that the
fluid had been building for a few months but I don't know for sure.
I remember walking through New York with a friend of mine and not
being able to keep up with her. That was in June. By October I had a
diagnosis. I've just passed my two year mark (since diagnosis)
and probably almost two and a half years
since the fluid began and I feel healthier than ever.
Love, Sherry
----------------------- I was not sure if any of you had
received this news of Sherry's passing.
I hadn't seen it listed so thought I would post it in case you wandered
why she wasn't on anymore.
I shall miss her terribly as I feel as though I have lost a very good
friend. She was so positive with everything she did and I always looked
forward to her mail. Deidre.
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Sherry A. Strumph Levit, 53, of Shokan, NY died on Monday, April 29, 2002
at her home after a courageous battle with mesothelioma that drew the admiration
of many. A "Fire Island hippie," she was the confident of and most able assistant
to the late Peter Morrison, Esq, Attorney General for the State of New York and the
Founder of Transcript Associates, a media services company in Manhattan. Her love,
generosity, and celebration of life was an inspiration to her many friends and relatives.
Surviving are her husband Hiram; her daughter Kristin Hooten; her sister Eileen Forte;
and brother Joseph Strumph.
Relatives and friends are invited to attend a celebration of her life at The Tibetan
Budhist Monastery in Woodstock, NY on Wednesday at 1:00 PM.
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